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Did you just say… no??

Ok well maybe STOP Lying to yourself!
(Well most of you are lying and here’s why)

Underneath the layers.
EVERYONE wants to be liked, appreciated, admired and celebrated.
(And we should be when we are in our truth.)

Sadly it is true, it’s in our make up to seek approval from others and its NOT our fault.
Unfortunately as humans, we are wired that way from our adolences and this is why its so dam painful when we feel any sense of rejection
or abandonment.

You are conditioned and raised to “need” things and people.
and when you finally wake up to a living more consciously.
You have to do SOOO much internal work to reprogram your mindset & sub conscious.
Because in order to truly stand gracefully in your own skin. your own body and your own heart
you need to learn how to become more sacredly unapologetic by revealing what desires are truly burning deep inside of you.

Here’s the thing.
I recently committed to something that was a massive stretch for me in every way.
Financially
Time
Energy
Mentally and
Emotionally.

But it has been the best investment of my life.

You see I have deeply discovered that from such a young age I harboured so much insecurity.
I used to Make friends with so much ease.
But then if those friends had a difference of opinion .
I would be left feeling like I needed to agree with them or apologise for my view because I wanted to be liked and accepted.
I would hide behind the shadows of opinionated people.
I remember like it was yesterday, that I stopped speaking up first,
because I wanted to make sure I was agreeing with the masses.
I so often would hide what mattered to me, because I wanted to fit in. I wanted to be supported and I wanted to feel safe.
yes you got it.I wanted validation from others because thats what i defined as succeeding in my relationships.

So now that I have a new perspective on life. where I have done so much fucken internal work, and external work. heres what i have learned.

When you are seeking approval from others it becomes almost addictive. And this creates suffering because you value their beliefs, opinions and needs above your own.

There are way too many opinions and too many voices in this world. However, you don’t have to pay mind to everything?

Silence can be a gift, and you need wisdom to know when it is necessary. Sometimes, we have to let go of everything we hear and go on with our lives, not caring about what other people might think about us.

Ultimately, your opinion of yourself is the ONLY thing that should be able to make or break your day, your mood, your drive, your image and your life. How you see yourself will determine your limit and how much you get out of life.

I’m still a work in progress and far from perfect:
But EVERY day I commit to allowing my son and others around me to speak life into what’s matters most to them and why.

I may not always agree but I sure as heck am not the person to approve of their beliefs or values.
Basically if they do not align with mine.
I bless them and then I release them.

So if any of this as resonated for you. And your asking how you can begin to take more ownership of what you believe in and what matters most to you.

Here are three ways I practise how to stop seeking out approval. Externally.

Step 1: Ask Where Your Need for Approval Comes From

In many cases, a tendency to seek approval at work stems from something in your past. For example, were you taught to respect authority growing up? If so, you may feel uncomfortable expressing disagreement in work contexts. Did you struggle to make friends in school and develop a fear of being rejected? This may now be driving you to do whatever if takes to feel included and liked by your co-workers.

Reflect on how your childhood or early development may be contributing to your current approval-seeking behavior.

Step 2: Make Friends With Rejection

Think back to a time when you failed to meet expectations or disappointed someone. Maybe your boss asked you to completely re-do a project, or perhaps you forgot an important deadline. How did you recover from that slip-up? What did you learn as a result? In most cases, you were probably able to turn the situation around—and it likely helped you grow as a professional.

When you break it down, disapproval is a form of feedback—information you can use to improve and make your next performance even stronger. It also helps to also re-frame rejection as something positive. It means you’re moving forward and pushing limits, rather than just staying in your comfort zone.

Step 3. Embrace a Growth Mindset

When you prioritize learning and constant improvement, you free yourself from needing approval from others. Psychologist Carol Dweck found that individuals who viewed skill and ability as something to be developed over time, rather than innate and unchangeable, were most likely to achieve their full potential. Those with this “growth mindset” were more likely to challenge themselves than those with “fixed mindsets,” who took feedback as a sign of disapproval and failure.

By understanding that there is abundant room for growth, improvement, and success, you can wean yourself from the constant need for validation.

STOP BEING AFRAID TO SHOW UP AS YOU.

YOU ARE A MIRACLE , EQUALLY ENTITLED TO WLAK THIS EARTH AND SHINE BRIGHT LIKE A DIAMOND.

It is time to LIVE BY YOUR OWN VALUES BABY.

I LOVE YOU
Xx Marissa

P.s. Remember you don’t have to live in struggle. you can always transform the energy into your strength.

P.p.sIf you believe you can live a better life.
And are looking for a powerful community that is enriching and supports you to call back your power, do more of what you love and shows you ways to operate from a space of trust, ease and flow while Building your business and life.

Come join the Platinum Success Collective.
Message me for more details ❤️🙌🏾

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