Do you have an Anchor?

You know when I used to hear the word anchor,

I would think of when I was young and how my family,

and I would go out fishing on the boat and I would help my

dad with the anchor to ensure we didn’t float away.

But as I am on this incredible self discovery journey

of growing and expanding my mindset at such a rapid speed,

I find that I am noticing SO MUCH MORE,

especially when things start to feel like heavy or something happens

and I feel overwhelmed, that I notice how patterns show up.

(and most of the time they are self sabotage patterns).

Do you get what I mean??

Well it wasn’t until the other week when I had received some news

that hurt me. It was heavy and unexpected. It came after

a week of many challenges that stretched my soul in every direction,

so I was feeling incredibly vulnerable and delicate, and becasue

of this, an old self destructive pattern showed up.

the pattern was

abort, escape and have a few drinks.
I mean I don’t really even drink anymore,

and its been a LOONG time since I

felt the urge to do this. But I believe when you are up levelling in life

and your about to have a breakdown that means your super close

to a breakthrough….

But at the time, The little girl in me returned..all i wanted to do at the time was run and hide.

Do you ever feel like that?

In fact I was so set on this idea, that in my mind I had already walked myself

through,

putting my son to bed,

singing him off to sleep,

then contacting my girls to join me at bar somewhere close.

in my mind IT WAS DONE!

Now not only was this not my natural behaviour

but it was a sunday night when most of “my girls” would

be settling in and prepping for their week ahead

THATS just was they do as Queens.

Still, in my mind I deserved a few glasses of vino,

and some company.

see heres the thing, the danger in this was,

I hadn’t been drinking in a while so it would have probably

hit me like a brick

and,

I was going into the situation with a low vibration of wanting to escape.
And we all now where that can lead sometimes right

#crying #overthinking #overreacting

don’t get me wrong, i love my cocktails, margaritas and vino,

but these days its generally only when Im celebrating success ,

weather its mine or someone I adore.

Anyway as I had my plan in place,

i had showered,

done my hair and make up

and outfit was ready to slip on.

but then as

I go to tuck my son into bed,

he grabs my hand & he looked me directly in the eyes and said

“mumma, would you please lay with me until i fall asleep?”

Now this was a shock, because

usually we say our gratitudes, prayer and song. then off to dreamland he goes.

Without hesitation, I replied “of course”

but in my mind i was like, ahh its going to get late.

but as I snuggled in next to him, he literally wrapped himself around me

and then laid right on top of me as the heaviest yet comfortable weight.

I instantly felt secure, I instantly felt safe

It was in this moment as I heard his breath and his little heart beat

that I noticed

HE WAS MY ANCHOR.

his craving for me to stay by his side

grounded me, and i felt the power of the divine connection and the magic

in the universe. It was her way of showing me there was nothing

I needed ‘out there” at this moment

that all I needed to feel love and above, was

right here.

This realisation brought tears to my eyes.

because as I lay there for a further hour.

I was bathing in gratitude

for number one, my beautiful gift Jordyn

then number two, my anchor in his love

then number three, that I was aware enough

to catch myself and the self destructive thoughts

before i took action on them

As i climbed out of my sons bed and headed into my room

I literally felt the weight lift off my shoulders and I climbed into bed

giving thanks for the experience

You may not all have children,

but my point is

sometimes in life we are on a strong path

and we have clarity of where we are heading

and we are uplevling everything with certainty and confidence,

then all of a sudden…BOOM

gentle or hard universal nudge to challenge our

strength.

showing us nothing is in control nor should it be?

and your energy is spun in all directions.

and when this happens ALL of our beliefs and our mindset

are challenged, even when we immerse ourselves in

daily practise to understand ourself more.

But please trust the flow

and have faith in something that is

bigger than you.

open up your heart

and notice what or who is your anchor

and give deep thanks for all of it,

give yourself time to breath

allow yourself to feel the connection

and DONT REACT to the chaos,

take the time to just sit with it

then find your strength in trusting

your power and your love.

so grateful for the continued experiences that push

me to “notice” things more every day

and to be able to share them with you.

Love always Marissa

xx

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