HONEY YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO GET WHAT YOU DESERVE. YOU WILL ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU TOLERATE!

OKAY OKAY OKAY.
I know this will possibly trigger something inside of you.
In fact it is probably going to piss you off a little or a lot. IF where you are right now.
Isn’t where you want to be.

But you know what.
(And I say this with LOVE)
I am just a little sad and tired of witnessing you hurting, suffering and in pain because you keep telling yourself this is it. “you get what you deserve”.
Because in my world it’s not true.
In this life experience you don’t get what you deserve.
Honey you get what you tolerate and accept.

PERIOD!

It’s true!

I mean do you even know what you really Want?

Do you even set boundaries?

Because here’s the thing.
If you do not choose to have self respect.
If you do not choose to have self love.
If you do not choose to have self awareness.
If you do not choose to have self belief.
It is most likely you do not choose to set boundaries around what is authentically acceptable to you and your heart.

So perhaps it’s time to stop blaming someone or something and start setting some boundaries about what is in the alignment of your truth.

And here’s why honey.
If you are not the cause of your environment
You are the effect of it.

How would I know??

Oh honey believe me
I know!
I know suffering
I know pain
I know hurt
I know abuse.
And I know the fear.
I spent YEARS “tolerating” certain environments and behaviours because I lacked all ability to set boundaries around what is acceptable for my soul and my heart.
And in that time I fell heavily into that victim mentality.
(Which by the way is a pretty dam lonely place).

See here’s the thing.
I see YOU.

I see you waking each day in your “story” that
They just don’t treat you the way you …
(Wait for it)
“DESERVE”

I see you calling up your friends and sharing about how upset you are that a certain experience impacted you in a negative way because it’s NOT what you..
(Wait for it)
“DESERVE”

I hear you crying, sobbing, praying, begging, screaming that this isn’t the life you…
(Wait for it)
“DESERVE”

THEN HONEY

Get UP
Stand up and
WAKE UP.

ONLY YOU CAN TURN IT AROUND.

AND YOU CAN TURN IT AROUND BY SETTING BOUNDARIES.

Boundaries are essential to healthy relationships and, really, a healthy life.
Straight UP!
But Setting and sustaining boundaries is a skill.

And it’s a skill so many of us fail to understand.

Because …
Yes it’s takes massive courage.
To set boundaries.

Yes it takes massive self love.
To set boundaries.

Yes it takes deep vulnerability.
To set boundaries.

But when you do.
Believe me.
You will effortlessly examine what you tolerate.
You will effortlessly teach people how to treat you.
You will effortlessly stay close to the things and people who make you feel appreciated. supported and celebrated.
And you will effortlessly excuse yourself from those who don’t.

If this SPOKE VOLUMES to you but you just don’t know where to start.

Here’s 5 key actions that I quickly learned to support me in understand HOW TO set healthy boundaries.

1. Name your limits. …

You can’t set good boundaries if you’re unsure of where you stand. So identify your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual limits.

2. Tune into your feelings. …

I observed two key feelings in myself that were triggers which are letting go of: discomfort and resentment.

So If you are similar ask yourself, what is causing that? What is it about this interaction, or the person’s expectation that is bothering me?

3. Give yourself permission. …

Fear, guilt and self-doubt are big potential pitfalls, Gionta said. We might fear the other person’s response if we set and enforce our boundaries.

Boundaries aren’t just a sign of a healthy relationship; they’re a sign of self-respect. So give yourself the permission to set boundaries and work to preserve them.

4. Consider your past and present.

How you were raised along with your role in your family can become additional obstacles in setting and preserving boundaries. If you held the role of caretaker, you learned to focus on others, letting yourself be drained emotionally or physically.

Beyond relationships, your environment might be unhealthy, too. Again, this is where tuning into your feelings and needs and honouring them becomes critical.

5. Make self-care a priority.

I Alwys help my clients make self-care a priority, which also involves giving yourself permission to put yourself first. When we do this, “your need and motivation to set boundaries become stronger,”

Putting yourself first also gives you the “energy, peace of mind and positive outlook to be more present with others and be there” for them.” And “When we’re in a better place, we can be a better wife, mother, husband, co-worker or friend.”

You know I LOVE YOU right and I am ALWAYS here holding space for your transformation honey.

Ps. In my epic Free Coaching page??

I am going to be running a live training over there and going deeper into this topic. so jump over and enjoy the deliciousness of knowledge that passes through me as I choose to show up as my best and truest version every single day!

https://m.facebook.com/groups/1730294320517693

Love Marissa. Xx

Photo credit | Jorgeo Canales ❤️

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