EVER FELT SLIGHTLY, A LOT, OR LARGELY REJECTED, ABANDONED OR NOT ENOUGH.?

Then this is for you.

First OFF….

Honey I am here to nudge you, push you, trip you, slap you (what ever it takes)
to remind you.
YOU are so much more than enough.
SO MUCH.

And if I can create new positive beliefs and change my life.
Then so can you.

WOAH Im nervous !
I actually can’t believe I am about to share with you guys on such a deep level.
but It would be dishonouring you to hold this in to myself.

So stay with me..

And its ok I am not here to talk shit to you.
This topic is so super close to my heart.
In fact it is one I have wanted to talk about for some time.
The reason I haven’t is because i have still been healing and processing through this part of me.
and that is not a bad thing. Its just I needed time to integrate it all!

Three nights ago I stood under the water in the shower.
It had been one of those days where I really had to put into practise all of my learnings.
I wanted to give up.
I wanted to throw my toys.
I just wanted to say fuck it all.
I noticed the constant waves of emotions rise and anxiety set in.

Thankfully I am so committed to the awareness of my thoughts and behaviours.
that I have learned how to catch it quickly so it doesn’t manifest into something bigger

As I had the warmth of the water on my face.
I sat down in the silence & had my eyes closed.
I found silence and I just surrendered
ALLOWIng all the emotion to come up.
Yes there I was crying my eyes out in the shower.
(and Fuck me it felt painful.)

It was so clear.
I had a flood of memories smack me in the face like a tidal wave.
You see this healing journey is all about peeling back the layers that we hide behind.
And remembering our greatness

But like most of us. the hardest part is not just letting the emotions rise, it is the resistance we create by pressing them back down.

Although for a short moment I felt lost in space.
I also felt a such sense of comfort.
and as the water washed over me.
I found so much peace & clarity in letting go.

See heres the thing.
As i have walked through this life experience.
I have experience relationship and love on many levels.
Family members, partnerships and friendships.
and although I stand in my gratitude for each of them.
I used to search for completion and wholeness in them.
I never used to understand why.
But i have discovered it’s because I never felt good enough.
I used to feel like i was such a burden.
I used to think too much.
I used to hate it because I would get caught up in the stories i created.
And beforeI knew it, i was so deep into the stories of not enoughness that
I created unhealthy beliefs that lead to unhealthy actions and of course unhealthy results.

It was when I finally reached my limit about 4 years ago.
I had been living in Australia.
I had recently come out of a 4 year partnership.
I was working 80 to 100 hour weeks.
I was exhausted and in a self destructive state
I was juggling the pain of feeling rejected and abandoned ONCE AGAIN.
All while finding my way through being a mother..

At the time I knew i was completely spiralling into a space of emptiness.
but THANK GOD i had my divine son Jordyn
he was one thousand percent my anchor and my purpose to keep seeking solutions for healing.

See like Deepak states. “healing is a broad term”.

Honestly at that point in my life my healing looked like “I just wanted to be able to fall asleep without knots in my tummy from that anxiety of worry
and wake up with a smile.

It seems so simple right.
but as you already know it isn’t when your in a space of self loathing and self doubt.

Have you ever experienced this ???

Well if you desire to hear my story keep reading!!

The crazy thing is.
As each day passed and things kept going SO wrong.
I seriously felt like I must have done something seriously freaken wrong in a past life.
I felt everything and everyone was against me.
I thought “shit Universe when are you going to give me a solid break”?

These limiting thoughts just drove me further into the darkness.
And as I continued to PRETEND i was happy and all good.
I was living a freaken lye.
I was lying to myself and those around me about how I truly felt.
I was operating on false beliefs and pure adrenaline.
And you can only guess what happened next…
I ended up in hospital on a drip for a few days because my adrenal glands had shut down from the exhaustion and stress.

That ride to the hospital in the ambulance was one of shame and confusion.
I remember thinking.
HOW THE FUCK DID I GET HERE.
I questioned “was I depressed”?
I mean on medical terms and my behaviours.
It is very possible that was the case.
but I refused to believe that was the case.
I was aware enough to know that I was carrying pain, and feelings of rejection and abdonment.
but I knew in my heart that it was my thoughts and beliefs that were creating my reality.
So I searched for answers through Self love meditation and yoga.
It was only a week later that I realised i needed to be home with family and I called mum to help me get home where I felt safe and supported.

As I stood in that shower.
I was merging tears of pain and gratitude all at the same time.
and as I began to notice what I have created since that day.
my emotions shifted instantly.
my posture changed.
and I realised how even when we heal from one thing.
THERE IS ALWAYS MORE.
and that doesn’t make you unworthy or not enough. It just makes you HUMAN AF.

See my darlings

WE use the word LOVE to mean many things.
As humans it can be a complex & confusing state based on our experiences.

And that is the deep purpose of this message.
And if you get nothing else from this story
GET THIS.

Remember YOU yourself, as much as anybody in this entire universe deserve your love and affection.

In order to heal those wounds with in you that live in reaction to feeling abounded and rejected
Choose to make a commitment to restoring the spiritual spirit into love.
And regain YOUR higher self with unbounded ability to love beyond any illusion.

This will SHOW You that nothing external with ever fulfil your desire to be loved/ it will show you that YOUR source of love and potential is and has always been YOU.

Love love love YOU

PS. The distinction becomes much clearer when we develop self-awareness about our behaviors and if your ready to break through your DEFAULT FEELINGS and behaviours around rejection and abandonment.

Im running another 6 week online workshop to #owningyourstory and we kick off NOV 1st. 2017
It’s the Last one before the year is through.
So why not start 2018 with a little more peace and clarity?

This is by Application ONLY so send me a PM ON why this is important to you To be on this with us.

Love Marissa

Xx ❤️

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