Lately I have noticed a lot of negative self talk in my head
around my environment.
I have one of the most powerful environments
however I started to question myself
about if I was good enough to be there,
it was interesting because i started to feel
uneasy and insecure, and I started to do what one should not do, and that was compare myself!
It was a hard space to be in because I am so conscious and aware of energy,
and I had not experienced this low vibration in years.
You see when I was in college, it was a really intense experience for me,
like most who have suffered bullying, I was highly sensitive, over reactive
and super insecure. I spent most of my teenage years living in a place of
judgement, self doubt and self loathing so I never thought i was ever good enough for
anyone.
I guess the difference between 5 years ago and now is that
I didn’t stay in the “story” for long
I noticed the self talk, and I took immediate action to change it.
I reflected on Me and I recognised my feelings were nothing to do
with anyone else. which propelled me to stop and ask myself a few real questions,
Marissa, Why are you feeling so disconnected?
Where have you been focusing your energy and what energy have
you allowed back in thats creating so much uncertainty?
OH IF YOU WERE IN MY HEAD FOR THAT process you would be exhausted! LOL
the good news is,
Once I took the responsibility to elevate my state
and focus back on me
and then to take ownership of what action i was taking each and every day
and then noticing the areas that, that felt out of balance,
the comparison slowly dissipated.
Fair to say it was like a tone of bricks had been lifted off my shoulders!
You see heres the thing
90 percent of the time what you think is the problem is never problem.
Its up to you to step up and get reconnected,
and understand that when your self love
is at an ultimate high.. there is no room for comparison.
Its like a lamp thats plugged into the wall,
If you want to stay in the dark, you will continue to feel disconnected,
but if you want to turn that shit around
go plug back into the power within,
flick the switch and
shine on baby!
Love always
Marissa xx